Being Content

            “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:”                                                     - Philippians 4:11

            Contentment: it’s always seemed very illusive to me. Just when I get used to my circumstances, they change, sometimes to my liking, and sometimes not. Sometimes unpleasant situations stay the same for so long that I beg God to change them. All along, He is reminding me through His Word to trust Him in every situation, because He has a plan for it, no matter how unpleasant the situation may seem.

            I have a very vivid imagination. I like to plan out my life in detail. Whenever something starts to change in my life for the better, my mind runs away with me, and I think I have it all figured out. God often changes my plans. Recently, a quote from a devotional called “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young opened my eyes to what I should be focusing on instead of the future. It’s Jesus talking and he says, “The reality of My presence with you, now and forevermore, outshines any fantasy you could ever imagine.” That is powerful to me, reminding me that there is always a bright future, and it starts with a bright present, full of the reality of Jesus Christ.

When I graduated from college five months ago, I knew what I wanted my life to be like next, but didn’t know how to get there. All I could do was pray and trust that God had it figured out and be obedient to take the next step. I had a blessed month completing my internship, then the time of testing started. I had several job leads, but one by one, they turned sour. I did start a temporary job helping care for an elderly couple. After a few months, that ended, and I was back to square one, my only employment being a cleaning job every other week. With my loan payment deadline looming near, I knew I had to do something. In the middle of my attempts to enroll in a career services program, another opportunity came up, sitting with a lady in assisted living. I realized what God was doing, giving me jobs in which I could both work and write at the same time. I was excited about the opportunity, but was disappointed when I was not scheduled for the coming week, and was quickly running out of money. I went to bed on a Saturday night with my job situation on my mind, and awoke with it still there. The stress became so great that I started to doubt that I could even trust God. I’ve heard people say that God has never let them down, but in my distress over work and other issues, I couldn’t say that. Finally I realized that even if God never did anything else for me, I couldn’t stop believing in Him because I love Him too much. I know He loves me more than I can begin to imagine.

The following Wednesday, I was called to work two days later. One day a week because two and then three. Yesterday as I sat and wrote in between sitting duties, I finally felt content again. God had not let me down and never would. Then a very unexpected conflict came up, and I had to deal with my attitude toward my situation all over again. Driving home, the sign at New Prospect Baptist Church reminded me to, “Be content in all situations.” That is the key. It doesn’t mean I have to like the situation, but it does mean that I need to keep in mind that no matter what is going on, I can trust that God is working through the situation, pleasant or unpleasant, to work His perfect will, which is for my good and His glory.

Being content? I can’t say I quite figured it out, but I’m getting there. Maybe it’s as simple as looking past my feelings long enough to see God at work.